No one told me this about weed… rather, I never believed when they said it, so I decided to jump off the bus…🙃
*Pacing frantically around the room and panting with so much fear in my eyes.* “O my God Tom😱! I can’t breathe, my breath cuts short and my throat feels so dry😖…”
*Struggles to gulp some saliva and begins to fidget and cry uncontrollably… moves closer to Tom and suddenly begins to hassle him.* “Please take me to the hospital!😭 This is not me, something is wrong with me…help me!!😩😩”

Before then, I had never felt that way before, so scared, uneasy, very alive yet dead at the same time. Something was off; it was like I was communicating with all my multiple personalities in full flesh. My demons came out to play tough. I couldn’t tell who I was anymore, rather the side I enjoyed showing to the world was lost and hoping never to be found. I always heard that Marijuana (weed) could gargle a man’s mind, stir it in full-blown chaos until he loses grip of his actions, but I thought it was a bandwagon fallacy.
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A little backstory here. On this very chilled day, I went to see my boyfriend (now an ex). He was a stoner and most times had weed littered in some strategic corners of his room. I went to his place to cajole him to follow me to mine; we were supposed to have a nice night together at my place (sips coffee🙃). And ding ding! I saw a somewhat handful of weed staring at me. And I thought to myself “today is the day”…not sure if the Lord made this one though.😏

“Ah ha! This is the so-called weed right?” I asked rhetorically. “I feel like trying it tonight, what do you think?😉” Tom responded to me with an exciting and charming stare. Finally, his girl gets to taste the unseen goodness he’s been preaching. So I put it in my bag, assisted him in selecting some of his belongings, and off we went to my place.
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I was so curious, waiting to see the beastly transformation as I stirred my noodles on the fire. I have never sprinkled so much of a particular ingredient on a meal before, but that evening, I became an experimental chef. That moment when you are cooking and you indulge yourself in a monologue. “Is this the right amount?” 🤔 rather than second-guessing, I poured everything in the two packs of noodles. “Yasss! now, this is more like it🤤”, I said as a fulfilled smile ran through my lips.
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I have never been so excited to serve a meal before, let alone noodles ( not a fan🤢). But on this day, I relished it like it was my last supper🤤. At every spoon, I’ll say in my mind “This had better work!” I wanted to see that so much talked about effect. “But when will it start working now🙄?” I pressured Tom at intervals while we ate. And he would always give me a reassuring look to calm down and take my mind off it.
LAUGHING GALORE WITH TOM
About thirty minutes later… I laid down in bed, swooned in some lovey-dovey shenanigans with Tom 💏. Surprisingly we got talking about childhood memories (it usually doesn’t happen with us especially on a night like that). I started to talk about how I always wanted to be a bird. How I loved watching cartoons with the woodpecker featured in it. I began mimicking the bird and told him I wanted to peck his *** with my lips.

Have you ever laughed so much that even when you get to your limit, it seems as though you are just getting started? Laughter became insatiable. My nigga started whining me, he asked how I’ll love to peck it, and there I was making animal sounds. “Graaaaaaaaa…Pkkkkurrr imagine your dick falling off immediately?”. I asked in a stressful sexy tone. Before I knew it, I found myself singing and twerking. For anything, I wouldn’t sing, let alone twerk even if it was the ultimate solution to end a pandemic. The most extreme spoliation was seeing myself trying to muster some sex appeal. How embarrassing?! 😪
Read: My First Sex Experience; Something Worth Sharing or?
I saw all I was doing but I couldn’t bring myself to order. It was like the real me became an audience to my demons. I have never been so out of control but it felt like the more I tried to get a hold of myself, the more misbehavior got the most rewarding part of me.🤧

SHIT JUST GOT REAL
My chest was beginning to sink and my throat was getting strangled with drought. With a low voice, I asked “Tom it’s like this thing is working, my chest is hot😟”, I took his hands and placed them on my chest “please touch it. It’s hot right?😰”. There, it dawned on me that the worst could happen any moment. I jerked off and started pacing around the room.
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I am a thinker and my thoughts can be very extreme. All the bad things I have ever thought of did not just replay in my mind only to say a brief hello, they wanted a full bed space. The worst of it all was dying young and not fulfilling my dreams. That period was when it was trending on the news that a girl who visited her boyfriend got overdosed and died. It was my time to join her😭… O Christ! I couldn’t bear it anymore. I started to hassle Tom to take me to the hospital. Imagine! This was already midnight. He tried to calm me down while reaching for his phone, assuring me he was trying to call his family doctor.

“Tom! Tom!“… I screamed his name. “Wait a minute! Can you remember if we had an accident on our way here?😫” At this point, I was already crying. I was dead. Rather I thought we were dead and it was our ghosts that were active at the moment. “Maybe we had an accident and this is our ghost🥶”…” Tom we are not alive! We are dead. Christ! What will my mum do, what happens to all my dreams”😭😭… I cried even harder.
Read: Gosh! I Overthink Worst-Case Scenarios
I needed to be sure I was alive so I opened my room door and started running around the compound. “I need to know I’m alive!😱”, I kept reciting like an anthem while I ran. I had the nudge to knock on a friend’s door but Tom held me back. He was already getting pissed but most of him felt helpless. He didn’t know what to do with me but thankfully managed to bring me in. Yet I couldn’t hold still, so I opened the door again and knocked on the door of my neighbors who lived opposite my flat as loud as I could. For me, it was a case of my ghost displaying, so to debunk that thought I felt if my neighbors could see me in the flesh then I will be a bit calm.🤭

They were shocked! “Haba! Uju why are you knocking so loud by this time?🙄” one of them interrogated me with his angry sleepy voice while the other two (all guys) were trying to get themselves together in case it was an armed robbery alert. “I need to know I’m alive🥶”. I kept screaming and managed to drag them to my room. I could feel the embarrassment on Tom’s face as he narrated what happened to them. Before then, he’s never had an encounter so the impression now will most rightly be “The guy who overdosed his girlfriend with weed”. But reputation can as well burn in hell! life is what matters now… I thought within.🤨
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To cut the story short, they offered me some homemade remedies (palm oil and garri) to allay the weed effect. And going forward the experience became an avenue for subtle mockery and laughter whenever boredom came calling my neighbors.😒

WHY I DECIDED TO SHARE…
I saw a tweet recently that read “what was that drink you overdosed on and you prayed to God that if the effect stops immediately, you’ll never drink again”. It made me remember my experience with weed and the lessons I garnered and so I thought, why not share…
“The things you do when no one is looking are the things that define you”. This quote began to mean so much after the weed brouhaha. You know, everything I displayed that day were the thoughts I always had hidden inside. In my mind, I am the best dancer and twerker, sometimes when I am by myself, I twerk in front of the mirror. I always want to be sexy, I always imagine myself talking and acting sexy, sometimes I even act it when I am alone. All along I thought they were mere thoughts and goofing, I never knew they were already part of me. My mind had them registered in its nook, but that day, the weed beat it to a pulp thus revealing all my demons.

And the evil thoughts too…Going forward, I learned to always think more about the good things because just like that day, another day could come where it will be only me that can save myself and if I got no motivation inside me, it would become a scary mess😪. Although I still cower at the thought of dying young. God forbid! 😤. But how did weed come to be? Its efficacy remains unmatched. I was going to share my experience with alcohol too but this post already takes a cue from Mariama Ba’s So Long A Letter. Alcohol also has a way of making me mask off completely, that’s why I never drink with people I am not comfortable with.😕
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Now your turn! Have you ever had a horrifying high experience? I’ll like to learn about your moment of reckoning. How do you feel when you are high? Why do you feel the need to get high sometimes? And If you are sober or have never taken alcohol or weed before, I’ll like to know why, maybe for your sake, I’ll repent. And yeah… what do you make of my weed experience too?🤓
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My first weed experience was a 3 days trip, yes THREE DAYS. Was in my finals prior to this time I have never taken weed in any form. Me and my hostel mate decides to cook rice with weed in it and of course I was the chef. We used two parcel of weed in the rice, rice and vegetables that it was it looked like. To cut the long story some of the guys went missing at midnight, one went to sleep on to top of a well, the others were banging on my door, In fact we woke… Read more »
😂😂😂😂😂 the guy who slept on the well got me rolling 😂😂😂. Yeah that’s true, even the next day you still feel it 😂😂😂😂. @sleeping in exam hall during finals, I am sure he will never forget 😂😂😂
The guy was in 200l and yeah it’s an experience we will never forget 😁
Lmao GST. They will swear for you
Omg! I can imagine, thank God nigga didn’t fall into the well
Being humble; I’m sure the twerk was not bad. Plus, you have luck i was not your neighbour. Laugh would’ve cleared the effect😂. Nice story, the ghost part got me
😂😂😂 well I think it was that good from the rare. Thank God my neighbors had to be serious for the moment.😂😂
I couldn’t help but laugh while reading this nice piece. I have always imagined how you’d act if you ever got high on alcohol or weed.
Glad it made you laugh… well now you know me better 😂😂🤭🤭
I laughed so hard😂😂😂…I want to try weed too in form of brownies, what’s the right quantity to take before I run mad from weed😂
😂😂😂 be careful what you wish for especially if you have a mind like mine. I dont trust these brownie makers, they like it when you attest that it works so most times they do the most.
🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏
What an experience
Yeah yeah 😂😂
First time I had weed I have always been a very curious person,mehn I love to find out shits especially shits that comes with feelings. I have always wanted to know how it feels like to be on weed even though I was scared of going crazy as I was told weed can cause kolomental. So on that unfaithful day, I was in my neighbor’s house and nigga was busying moulding his bestie as he would call it, and in my head I was like” this is the right time to have a taste of this goodness”.But then the other… Read more »
😂😂😂😂 now this is hilarious. You got mad even before you took it. I am sure prior to the occurrence you always imagined your hands falling off 😂😂😂
Google is your best friend but sometimes it’s better not to. I didn’t even think of google, all I wanted was to get better 😭😭
I’ve never taken it😂 I don’t have any experience to share… Lemme continue reading comments and laughing🤣
😂😂😂 all of you seem to find my experience hilarious. On a brighter note, it’s a break from the serious stories here🤭
Now I want to try my own too😂😂😂😂😂
OMG!! Count me out of this 😂😂😂
I’ve never had a weed experience so in definitely putting this on my bucket list😂. Dw I’ll come back and give you full gist. I’ve had numerous alcohol experiences tho. Me and alcohol don’t go well and it always ends in tears but still, I get drunk as soon as I have the opportunity to 😂😂. One time I went for a pool party, I got drunk and on my way to the toilet, I fell into the pool 😂😂😂😂😂😂. My friends were embarrassed on my behalf while I kept laughing after they pulled me out of the pool😂. Needless… Read more »
😂😂😂 the flip side is usually our friends bearing the brunt of our misbehaviour. I dont do well with alcohol too especially cause of health reasons but once in a very blue moon I crave its indulgence 😂😂😂
We should apologise to your friends again 😂😂 and please DO NOT TRY THIS!🤭
I laughed hard on this one😂😂😂😂 Sincerely, you are one good writer and you sure know how to stir humor 😂😂 Moving forward, I had a talk with some friends yesterday and we kept pondering on the reasons people cheat and also why we have so much drama surrounding relationships. My take was this, amongst all the virtues every human should have, I think DISCIPLINE is key.. I think if human sets a boundary for themselves and create a standard, there are so many messes we won’t get involved in. As humans, we all have selfish desires regardless of any… Read more »
😅😅 my walls were so up mehn otherwise his D would have become a wood for pecking 😂😂😂. Thank God I am alive😄. This has got to be the most traumatic time of my life. Gosh!!! I can never forget. Even though some guy on twitter responded to this story that weed hasn’t killed anyone before, I beg to disagree cause this was a close shave. Maybe if someone told me to rip my vein at that time, I wouldn’t hesitate. And about the gist with your friends, I hope you can share a story regarding that topic with us… Read more »
Yes it was interesting 😂 but it kept me thinking, because I have always thought of smoking weed and I am imagining if this type of thing should happen to me 😔
😂😂😂 rather than imagine, why not ABORT MISSION!! You are welcome here 💫💫
This is hilarious 😂. This one is definitely up there with my favs here. Just thank your stars I wasn’t one of your neighbours *you for hear am*😂😂
😂😂😂 I bet my neighbor’s are still yet to get over my drama. If you were my neighbor you’ll be shocked too because you have never seen me in such state.
This is so funny, I laughed so hard.
Well, there is no serious crime in trying with caution.
😂😂😂😂 there was no option to be cautious.
Oh my God! This is crazy😂😂😂… I don’t really have any experience on weed or alcohol but I can share a story my friend told me. The day for her teaching practice came and she was posted to a community alongside other students. Then one day, some of the student teachers and a Corper decided to cook beans with weed!! According to my friend, they bought a very very strong one. So after preparing it, they ate. The food was sooo delicious that it made them scooping for more. Shortly after they were done, come and see weed manifestation. The… Read more »
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 gosh!!!! I bet everyone of us fears dying so much. Mehn! I heard weed works so well with beans, I can imagine. My friend was just gisting me about her own experience with brownie which she will be sharing on Naked Minds hopefully.😄
You all have succeeded in making me laugh so much with all these comments. Gosh! 😂😂😂
Whoaaaa this story is damn almost so similar to mine, my first weed experience I cried to be chained cause I thought I was gonna destroy things or run out of the apartment if I wasnt chained. My friend was helped me so well in conducting me and recording the whole show for me to see😂😂😂😂. I felt like I saw millions of myself doing alot of stuffs, I told my friend that our life is a generator and God is the one that drags the rope to turn us on and we are still on, that when we have… Read more »
😂😂😂😂 you ended your comment how I intended to end the post but I held back because I didn’t want anyone pointing fingers. Why is it that despite the lessons, we still find our way back to taking it? 😂😂😂 Everybody I have spoken to who had a similar experience still had to try it the second and even the umpteenth time.
You are welcome Nene…Our life is indeed a generator, has God dragged yours today? 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂 most def he has dragged mine today oh, cause I’m up and kicking, eating and jisting up and down. So happy I found this group today💃💃💃💃
😄😄😄 you are welcome once again
Very interesting read! I wish I was one of your neighbors. 🤣🤣.. I for don give u one weird name from that night.🤣🤣.
My candid advice to anyone willing to try weed for the first time is “Don’t ingest it” roll it in a blunt and take a few puffs. It’s easy to control the quantity you take in when you roll it in a blunt than when you cook it….
You will be fine after a few minutes. 😂
All of you wishing you are one of my neighbors 😂😂😂… thank God you are not. You know what people think about smoking, I guess that’s why newbies prefer to cook it instead😃
Lmao “I need to know I’m alive” killed me.
I have had CRAZY moments with other drugs
But with weed, nothing worth mentioning, full blown conversations with myself sometimes, trying to calm myself down & not freak out,lol
I tell myself “it’s just a ride’ lol
😂😂😂 you sound like it’s that easy. I wish I could say “it’s just a ride”.
Dont laugh at me please 😂😂
first time I got drunk was when I was 9yrs old. it was a very sweet palm wine, I was drinking it as if it were ribina. Well… I insulted my mum and all my elders sha… It only took 5 slaps and a hot bath outside for me to snap out of it. In my Second experience I called my girlfriend around 12:06am and apologized throughout the call. Why was I apologizing? Up till this moment I have no idea.
😂😂😂😂 I can imagine the hot slaps 😂😂😂… I actually love palm wine but no matter how much I take, it never gets me high. All it does is make my belly hurt a little at the very first sip.
About the apology 😂😂😂… just maybe it was to cover for your future trespasses against her.😂😂😂
Well… I was only 9years my brain never strong then. I think hot slaps from mums are divine creation. It solves almost every foreign behavior.
About the apology, I guess that’s true 🤔
An African mothers slap 😂😂
This is the funniest weed experience… So do you think you would try it again 😂😂😂
Tell you what Richard, I actually tried it again but with a little caution. It wasn’t as bad as the first. I tried it for the second time to make the scores even. I was somewhat in charge but still scared.😃
Very interesting story! I am certain 80% of people have had this crazy experience
Glad you enjoyed every bit of it. 😃
I laughed so hard reading this. My first experience with weed wasn’t that bad tho, I followed a friend of mine into some place in a street I had never been to smoke, and while walking back to our hostel, my legs felt like they were 5x bigger 😂😂. I got to the hostel and slept all day, lol.
You had imaginary elephantiasis 😂😂😂 I heard a good remedy is sleeping. I wish I did but I couldn’t put myself together.
There is always that one coded place guys go to smoke or buy smoke, most times their life never remains the same especially for first timers 😂😂
Very entertaining read.
Weed brings out the real you, your unfiltered thoughts 😂
You all have laughed at me right😄😄… yeah it did, it really did.
Interesting and very funny. You should read this thread of first time weed stories on Naira land.
https://www.nairaland.com/1532526/experience-weed
Glad you enjoyed it Ade😆😆… I definitely will check out the link right away. Thank you😇
OMG!!! I just read a few stories from this link and I have been laughing. The guy went to the chemist to buy drugs for evil spirit 😂😂😂😂
Eating weed is worst than smoking it, as the effect doesn’t start immediately unlike smoking. If you don’t have a strong mind or can’t control your thought,
don’t cook weed with food
😪😪 I wish I knew earlier but it’s so unfortunate I learnt the hard way. Thank you Babatunde 🙏
Weed keeps making me proud…try a moderate quantity next time tho…and you should try edibles…they’re perfect
😂😂😂😂 keeps making you proud? I guess its prowess yeah? Edibles have been on my mind lately though. Hopefully soon.
Hmmm
Mehn, I’ve been high severally oo. Mostly on weed. I either take it as a blunt or add it to my coffee and I’ve never overdosed such that I’ll act up.
I usually just get excited or sleepy and if I have a bad mood before hitting it, I can start to feel a little depressed.
If taken right it’s effects aren’t bad.
Hmmmm coffee 🤔🤔 are you thinking what I’m thinking? 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
The ghost and twerking part 😂, very hilarious
I was hearing whispers, told my friend to ask them to stop talking 😂
😂😂😂😂 your friend must have laughed so hard. I wonder why weed is this way though.
[…] something else, I don’t know… but the surface level is when we were dating and we had that whole weed and I mixed all those drugs and we cooked it in the indomie and you were overreacting…Jesus Christ…*deep […]
So January 1st 2017, I went to a friend’s place to celebrate the new year, there was Smirnoff ice spirit on the menu. One thing about me is when I’m about to get high, the drink becomes tasteless and I tend to gulp more. I started drinking the Smirnoff , one Cup, 2cups and it became tasteless. I drank more and more . I got drunk and started throwing up, in the bathroom though. The only saving grace was that she didn’t allow me go home that night , I’d have slept on the road. I couldn’t eat solid food… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣 only pap? Something about weed is that it makes you hungry so you tend to eat even more than you normally do. Me self I don comot hand for all these things jare, better sorry than sorry 😓