I am Muttering

You Can Never Be Yourself!

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3 min read

‘Always be yourself’ ‘Be you’ ‘Be yourself, everyone else is already taken’…and there goes the list of endless self misinformation in disguise. Being one’s self is actually one of the easiest ‘do it yourself’ task yet in my opinion, no one has been able to luxuriate it completely. Surprised at my line of ratiocination? Well, I cannot help that you wouldn’t be.

Some time Last month, I indulged in an argle-bargle with a friend who held the opinion that she was always ‘herself’ no matter what. Hold on, let me take you back to the trigger, she had berated me for not being outgoing and a people person which I apologized for. I began narrating to her how I  try to fit into that light but there’s been no serve. Having encouraged me not to put a force but be myself, she yanked off telling me how she’s been living her best life without the validation of anyone including her family…lol.

In her words:  “Do whatever the hell u wanna do, Life is just ONCE In case you don’t know. If God is ur rock u can do d hell u wanna do, I do the hell I wanna do Doris”. Ah-ha! I caught her right there! “Do you fear God?” I asked, she said yes. Sorry sis, but if you fear God, you cannot be you, but live for him through your words and actions, I said.

A person who truly fears God cannot be themself, I mean they cannot act on the flesh, limning how they truly feel.

Humans are fashioned to be overzealous no matter the idiosyncrasies we harbour. In our talkativeness or shyness, rationality or irrationality, controversies or introversion, we can outstretch what we actually show the world, the question now is what then stops us?

Every time I hear someone say “I was only being myself that was why I reacted that way,”

well I beg to disagree. If given the opportunity to do what you truly had in mind, would you have done it that way? subtle? or worse? I leave you to be the judge of you.

you can never be your self
Is it safe to be who we really are?

No one is entirely themselves, we might be close to, but we don’t hit the bullseye. What’s on your mind is the real you, not what you display! You think a person is acting irrational or is too shy? What if they told you the entirety of their mind? If the person you call irrational or wicked tells you how extreme they crave to be more of that in their minds, could you handle it?

Perhaps we should rephrase the cliche ‘BE YOURSELF‘ to ‘BE YOUR MIND’.

Now to the question of ‘what stops us?’  The Mask of Civility is what stops us. Our crave for societal acceptance and wanting to always be noticed on the fine side is what makes us wear the mask. If a person shows happiness or anger in whatsoever volume, best believe they are portraying it in ways society can look back and smile or frown, it’s never the way their mind wants it.

READ- The Mask Of Civility

Frankly no matter who we want to be, there’s at least an iota of feeling we harbor that plays a restraint on us, just like a chained dog that can only bark and move considering the length of the chain. Even villains wear the mask, villains have feelings too, villains put in some level of consideration trust me.

Now the big question! Is it safe to be just who we are? I mean ‘Be Our Mind’? If you’ve listened to my all-time favorite Lana Del Ray‘s Love Song, I’m certain the question wouldn’t be new to you. So tell me, is it safe to be Your Mind? In my opinion, we cannot ‘be our minds’ because of the society we live in.


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2 years ago

sometimes we just have to be honest with ourselves, nobody is entirely themselves, at some there are things we just have to hide some certain things and pretend to be who we are not.

1 year ago


1 year ago

This is what I have always said , you can’t be yourself a 100% , we are usually restrained by the societal standard of who we ought to be and not who we want to be . You want to be goofy but then you are scared people will get the wrong notion.

1 year ago

Beautiful write up … it takes a lot to be yourself. Often times we tend to adjust our true personality and actions due to several reasons. Everyone mostly wear that fake smile face and say those manipulative words that will e of advantage to them. I totally agree with the writer’s view , there’s no such thing as be yourself ..

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